Today was really nice. I did good today at work. There was this nice lady that came in about 1:45pm looking for a phone, one that would replace her "dinosaur" one. Believe me we had a good laugh about that! She was a christian lady, very sweet and very patient.
When I got to work I was really fighting to maintain a happy attitude - especially since I'm under a lot of stress and hurt. So I arrived at work around 11:18am, I wanted to get out of this place as early as I could without saying a thing - well that almost happened, but since I HAVE to talk to my parents, plus ask for stuff (lest they think I'm stealing)...it didn't happen exactly as planned. BUT, I did keep my tongue on a leash and my anger reined in. Only by the Grace of God did I do that!
I still have blood in my mouth from biting my tongue so hard last night that I literally caused my tongue to bleed - just so I wouldn't say or do something that would end up making a bad situation worse...
But after I left this stupid place and headed for work, I just wept with frustration. By the time I got to work I resolved that I would use as few words as possible when speaking to my parents. Let them talk. So when I got to work I decided to read my Bible. Since I was 40 min early, that was a great idea, besides I needed it. You see, I'm reading the Bible from start to finish - not like my church is, but in my own way.
I am in currently in the book of Exodus, about chapter 20/21.
But then I clock in and before going out on the floor I silently pray that God would send me some encouragement - since I don't get any at home, just old history lectures and the like - and He came through for me!
This lady came in and started talking with me about different phones, but it quickly became a wonderful encouraging conversation, such a sweet lady. She has no idea how she made my day! It wasn't the fact she bought a new phone, it was the fact she was encouraging and didn't shoot me down. When I talked with her, I felt like I was talking with my Grandmother, such a wonderful peace about her. She made me laugh, and I made her laugh. We had a great time. It really made my day, God really came through - there was a reason she was there. She was so sweet - I learned a few small things from her, and she learned a little from me (about technology) and it was a great time. She even allowed me to help other customers while she went over her options and such.
But every time I was around her I felt at peace, like I just wanted to smile all the time. After she left, her peace still remained. It was like an unexplained calm that came over me while she was there and a little while after she left.
Glory to God for answering my prayer!
But when I left work, it was like my burdens returned, and I had to face them all over again. As I neared the house, I slowed down entirely. literally dreading returning to the stress and tension that is this house. But it only hardened my resolve.
"Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps his mouth shut"
So, since I'm a fool (according to some people), silence and the smallest amount of spoken word is all they need to hear. Besides, it's better to deal with myself and my anger and hurt and pain quietly without anyone sticking their noses where it isn't wanted nor is it needed, if I spoke about this I'd get another lecture for even THINKING I've got stress.
Oh well, just know that for the first day since last week, I've actually been encouraged - and by a complete stranger no less! THANK GOD for strangers!
