Well the weather is getting better and I'm starting to see warmer as a way to get back to my old habits of riding my bike.
Living in the country side has been something of a dream lately. But that dream can dim if no action is taken upon it. So I have decided to begin riding my bike when the weather is a bit warmer. I like summer weather unlike most people. Here in texas it is quite nice and green :) or brown depending on how hot it gets! LOL.
But lately somethings have been on my mind and I have been seeking a way to express them in a way that would not be so weird. I can't really say that I will make much sense, but here goes...
This countryside is beautiful, it's open and you can see the stars glittering at night! It smells like forests and it brings the nature lover out in me. Recently I have been growing very bored with indoor activities, including playing on my computer... but I'm trying to wait till it's warmer so I can really get to doing my outdoor activities (yes there is a reason I want it to be warmer but it's kinda personal.)
After everything that's happened to me recently, I have decided to focus on the positives and try to avoid the negatives. But those are hard when people remind you of them...
My nephew, Joseph DeRoise, turns 2 this month on the 25th. I haven't really been able to visit due to the distance from that part of my family. But it is nice to know that he's doing well and is growing into a wonderful healthy little boy!
My niece, Saxon, is growing as well. She's very much a girly girl - something I hope she'll grow out of personally... but anyway, she's still very bright and very smart for her age. She turned 5 this past Feb. 21st.
Being so far away from my niece and nephew have been the hardest on me. Simply because I miss out on their young lives. But then, my life is really just beginning - I'm learning things out here that I've never dreamed I'd learn... how the country side runs is very much like I thought but nothing like I'd dreamed. But being so far from family is hard...
Also, Lessie has been 7 days (as of today) without his tabacco dip. I'm so proud of him! But I keep reminding him if he is going to do this, he needs to do it for only himself and God - not for me or anyone else who will fail and fall in this life. It's nice also to see his energy increase due to the lower nicotine in his system. Now he's more energetic.
His reason for quitting: He is quitting because he wants to spend more of his life with me, and instead of letting the nicotine and tobacco use end his life earlier - he want's to be able to stay with me longer. Basically he want's to live life and not suffer anymore from his addiction to nicotine. So I'm very proud of him for taking that step... I just hope he knows that I don't want to be the reason... because I've told him SEVERAL times I don't want to be the reason...
Also, I'd like to commend my mother... she's been kinda my motivation for getting back on my bike... I have read her entries about her accomplishing a feat that she hadn't before - riding my dad's route COMPLETELY! This made me begin to realize, if she can ride the bike on my dad's route... then I can get back into it too! I can break my habit of laziness and only with GOD'S help will I be able to do what NEEDS to be done...
You see, I've become comfortable here, something I regret and hate with a passion, but it's so difficult to break old habits... but then, look at Lessie... he's quitting his bad habit, mom has quit her bad habit, why can't I?
My thyroid supplements have been helping too... however, I've had to increase the dose recently. I was taking 6 tablets, but now I'm taking 8. I don't have the insurance needed to see a doctor (since ... the incident in March happened). I have been too afraid to ask for restock of my thyroid supplements this month tho... it's difficult.
Lessie is waiting for his DD-214 to come in so he can begin trucking again. that's the final paperwork he needs in order for him to make it back into the trucking world. Which is fine by me! I still hope to get my license too, but right now his comes first since his is already paid for. I still have to learn... which when we get into trucking together, he will be teaching me along with daddy Nixon.
It's been more than 30 days since my last cycle. Lessie thinks I may be PG again, but I don't hold out hopes of that... especially since March happened the way it did. Mom Nixon says to wait till the 15th then test and see... that'll be a full while since I had my cycle... but either way... I leave it to God. He's the only one who knows what's really going on with me.
Well, I guess this has been more of an update than a journey through my thoughts... not that it would be much of a journey.... my dad would probably say (LOL)
But I've been trying to get my life back into shape and order. Please keep me and Lessie in prayer.
OH update on Lessie:
He's still struggling as a newbie in the faith, but with each passing day, he's letting God help him with his addiction. It's been nice to see him make it through a day without thinking of the stuff, but it's also been hard too. He's getting his life in order, back on track you could say. It's a wonderful accomplishment.
I may need to ask dad one day... if maybe, he could talk to Lessie about real faith. As dad has been through rough spots, tough times and hardships... but look at him now! He's an accomplished man who has a strong faith in God! Maybe, if dad talks to Lessie alone, maybe have a guys day out... really get to know each other, maybe it will help Lessie in his own faith in Christ... just maybe... Because I believe everyone needs the support of another (sometimes guys need support from another guy in a friend way). I think that if Lessie gets that support and encouragement... and leadership... then he'll grow spiritually and faithfully in Christ...
But then, that's only a thought... I will still need to talk to both men and find out if it's possible... I think it would be great...
Well, that's about it... take care everyone (MAY GOD BLESS YOU ETERNALLY IN THE GLORY OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND FOREVER MORE!)
