A woman lay in her bed, near death, she looked about her room and let her thoughts dwell on her life. As each memory fell through her mind and into her heart, she noticed the bible on her nightstand. With feeble hands she lifted the book onto the bed next to her.
As she opened it and began to read, a voice filled her heart. It was a warm and lustrous voice, full of power, kindness, peace and love. At first she couldn't understand what it said to her, so she tuned it out.
As the evening wore on, visitors came to bring flowers, some even stayed to help out around the house. But in the end, the woman was alone. Just her bible by her side on the bed.
Again she began to read, again the voice came and filled her heart. But once again she couldn't understand it. When she came to the passage in 1 Corinthians 12-14 she was suddenly taken into astonished awe.
The voice grew louder, but still she could not understand it. So when she finished reading her bible, she thought about all the stuff she'd just read and how her life was. Who did she really trust? Who did she have faith in? What did she hope for? What gifts were hers from the day of her birth? As she pondered these questions, her heart answered each one almost immediately.
Well, I trust God most of all. I have faith in him, because he loved me enough to die for me. I hope in His Son, Jesus Christ and I hope that I get to meet him when I die. I was always able to make people laugh, no matter their day or attitude - is that a spiritual gift? She thought as she lay back down on her pillow to ponder these things, another question came to her mind.
Who is God?
She couldn't fully answer this one right away, as time passed however, she grew fearful. She wasn't sure just who he really was. All she knew about him, were his traits, his attributes. All the stories from her childhood flooded her mind as she grew restless and yet tired all at the same time. What if I get to heaven and I am doubtful of who God is? Will He not just cast me aside? She fell asleep to that thought.
The woman was awakened by a gentle voice, like rushing water over a babbling brook. It was beautiful and made her thoughts come alive. As she looked into the face a being she had only read about, her eyes grew wide. "M-my Lord!" She moved to bow, as she did so, she noticed she did not need help or anything else like she normally did.
"Arise, do not be afraid, for I am not He of Whom you call Lord. I am Gabriel. Servant to the Most High." Gabriel said as he helped her to her feet. "T-then am I..." She didn't need to finish as a gentle nod came from the Angel.
"Come, I will show you the answers to which you have been asking yourself." He said as he took her hand and they floated high above the world, until they came to a small little building. More like a shack of sorts. "Come." Gabriel ushered her into the Shack and the woman recognized the place.
"This is my favorite place! I would come and read stories to these children!" She felt a pain of sadness as she watched one of the little ones fall down, while the others helped him up. "That's Joel. He has a bone disease, can't walk very good, always falling down. His brother," The woman pointed to another little boy seemingly older, "makes sure he's getting his medications everyday, because their mother - well, she left them..." The woman felt terrible for the children, knowing she wouldn't be there this time to cheer them up.
"These children," began Gabriel, "are the Kingdom. As the Lord your God said of them thousands of years ago." Then they left the little shack building and went soaring again. The woman asked, "What question is this answering, that I have no answer too?" She had forgotten her most recent events before she died, as is natural.
Gabriel said nothing as they came to a house, beautiful and nice, the woman knew this place well too. "Come." Gabriel said as he again, ushered her inside. "This is the house of my co-worker, Julia and her family of six." The woman whispered to Gabriel, which she was certain he already knew this house and it's owner. A woman of small stature came hobbling into the kitchen where they stood invisibly.
"That's Julia's second daughter. She was born with two left feet, making it difficult to walk, but she's so strong now..." A tear glistened in her eye as she watched Julia's second daughter clamber about the kitchen.
Julia came into the kitchen carrying a dish towel, "Come, come, now. Don't over work your legs, deary." She chided her daughter, "It's time for our stories." The woman watched as Julia helped her daughter into the sitting area, they followed them.
"I begged Julia to find Jesus. I even gave her a bible of my own, but she never opened it. Never came to church, never got saved... Her husband was just as bad," The woman sighed, but Gabriel gently tapped her shoulder and pointed to Julia, who had been joined by her other children and her husband.
"Now, what part were we on?" Julia asked enthusiastically. Six hands shot into the air, four boys and two girls, making Julia laugh and pointed to her youngest son. "Jesus walked on water." He said in halting youthful English.
Tears flooded the woman's eyes as she watched them crowd around their mother to hear the story of Christ. "That's the..." "Yes," Gabriel nodded and they once again disappeared from that house. The woman wept silently as she thanked God for her friend's salvation. Then a strange thought occurred, Do I still pray now that I'm dead? But she didn't have a chance to find out from Gabriel because another place had come into view and Gabriel was headed straight for it.
"Come." Gabriel gestured towards the church building nestled in the center of the city. The woman walked calmly up the steps, she saw dozens of people she knew, but would not see until they were also dead. "Why are we here? I was kicked out of this place many years ago... because, as a deacon I wasn't supposed to break rules..." She remembered it like it was just yesterday.
"Gabriel, I asked God to harm these people," The woman said shamefully, her voice breaking on the word 'harm'. Gabriel nodded, but said nothing. When they were inside the sanctuary, she saw the pastor coming to the lectern, turning to face the onlooking congregation. As he opened up in prayer, the woman wept. "Why do you weep for them?" Gabriel asked, not condescendingly but gently. "Because, I was wrong to ask God to harm them." Gabriel said nothing, but watched. The woman listened to the monotonous prayer, then singing, then the boring lecture. The pastor spoke of only the wrath of God, not of anything else, he thundered and roared about the abyss of hell. Gabriel looked at the woman, "You were wrong to wish harm on these people, however, they are harming themselves." When the woman looked at him confused, he explained further.
"Shepherds are to teach the flock, with gentleness and tenderness. To guide them to salvation, through the King's Son, Jesus Christ. But this flock is blinded by greed, selfishness, pride, arrogance and ignorance. How then, can they attain salvation without first dying to all of these?" Gabriel took the woman's hand again, they left the quaint little church behind them. "Gabriel," The woman began, "This still confuses me, why show me all this?" As the quiet settled over her, she heard a soft voice deep in her spirit.
Gabriel guided her to the last place they were to go before leaving earth completely. The woman looked and saw her church, nestled in the warm cozy building of large corporation. She knew it well. Her and her congregation would go through each and every floor, inviting anyone who was working to come to services. Few attended, out of respect and kindness, while others flat out refused.
"I will miss them most of all." The woman said sadly. Gabriel ushered her inside, "Come."
As they walked around the makeshift sanctuary, she saw it had more chairs in it than before. "Watch." A large group entered the room and sat down. Women, men and children sat in the chairs and on the floor.
"These are people from the building!" She whispered excitedly. Gabriel smiled. "Watch." He said again. The woman tuned in and listened to the leader of the group begin speaking. "Please, anyone who has been touched by this woman's life, I ask that you would stand and offer your story." He paused, apparently to keep from choking on his words and tears. Continuing, he sighed, "For me, she was a wonderful woman who never gave up on God's Kingdom. She always told me to come and visit this small church, I always refused. But one night, I was over my head, I couldn't go on living. Then her words came back into my head and I thought, 'ok, I'll visit. But if its not worth it, I wont stay.' so, I went." He smiled through his tears, "I met Jesus that day. He gave me reason, purpose, life. But without that invitation from that lovely woman, I would never have gotten saved." He finished to a loud round of applause. Many stood up and had tears streaming down their eyes.
Gabriel turned towards the woman, "You asked who God is. Here is the answer. God Is. He is a light in the darkness, a beacon of hope to the hopeless, a comfort to the hurting, eyes to the blind, ears to the deaf. He is the heart that loves, that cares without end. He is the hand that feeds the hungry, He is the redeemer of life, He is the protector of the weak, the bane of the wicked, the sword that never tarnishes." Gabriel's smile grew wide, "When you fed those children, you were the light that lead them to God. When you were kicked out of the church because you broke the rules and allowed a poor man who was ragged and cold come sit inside the building and you fed him and gave him clothes, you were God's messenger. When you pleaded with your co-worker Julia to find Jesus, though she refused until the moment God revealed himself to her, you were the pleading hands of God. When you went door to door in the corporate building asking people to come to your congregation and you told them about Christ, you were the light in the darkness to them."
When Gabriel had finished speaking, the woman was in tears. Not of sadness but of great joy. Then all her surroundings vanished, as did Gabriel. She found herself standing on a street of glittering gold of the purest kind. A crystal clear stream of water flowed endlessly beside the path. As she looked all around her spirit leapt with incredible joy.
"Welcome home." A voice, clear as crystal yet soft as a doves feather. She knew that voice. Her spirit gave a great swelling of Joy and peace as she turned to look at the owner of the voice. "Welcome home, my good and faithful servant." The woman wept as she fell at his feet and he placed his nail pierced hand gently on her head, "I have been waiting for you." He helped her up and she hugged him tightly. Words could not form in her lips as she held tightly to the one she'd only dreamed of.
Falling at his feet once again, she felt something rest upon her head. Glancing at the nail pierced feet of her beloved Lord and Savior, she placed a timid hand on her head. There upon her head, a crown of glittering silver and gold, jewels of all kinds embedded in it. The woman quickly and without hesitation, pulled the crown off and placed it at the feet of the Pierced One.
Picking up the crown, He placed it back on her head. The woman refused it a second time, placing it back at his feet. "I am not worthy." She whispered tearfully. "Why?" Asked the Pierced One. "I am a doubter. On my death bed I doubted who you were. I am not worthy." The woman replied, but the Pierced One laughed gently, "My dearest child, you doubted only because you questioned. The Word states to question all spirits. Though it is not correct to test the Lord your God, you only questioned, but you did not truly doubt Me." The Pierced One smiled down at her and she wept all the more. "Come, we must celebrate." He helped her up and they walked down the path of glittering gold, straight into the glittering city.
Written By: Kathryn Freeman
** I do have the original copy... please do not steal or alter this story in any way thank you :) **
Those are the same questions I ask myself.
Who do I Trust?
Who do I have Faith in?
Whom do I hope in?
What are my gifts?
Who is God?
Being a Christian, I can easily tell you every answer to those questions except the last. However, that is why I am at a loss. I've been raised a 'believer' but am I? If I'm a 'believer' a real one, then why can't I have faith in God like real 'believers' do? Why don't I trust God to do what I know He can do?
I'm not doubting that He exists, there is to much proof that He exists for me to debate that fact. I am just wondering...
Do I trust God?
Do I have faith in Him?
Do I keep my hope in Him?
Who is God?
As a Christian, I am curious to know...
