Well, I guess i'll put a small update for this new month...
Gabriel is still not yet arrived and it's driving me batty! I am stircrazy and very much impatient for his arrival. I am approximately 38/39 wks already and I'm sitting here looking at the due dates they've set for me... Gabriel is due around Feb. 15 - 19, 2014. But i am very much wishing He would make his little debut sooner! I want to hold him!
I know it sounds selfish, but i honestly want him here because I am really quite alone when my Lessiebear is away. Even walking around outside or visiting neighbors... it's not the same. I still return to an empty clean house. To me it's too quiet here - I can actually hear myself think! It's horrible - sounds like gusting wind coming through my ears! LOL dad I know would laugh at that one!
When Lessie is here, I can't really get enough of the company he brings to me. I crave it like a hungry critter! Just to be near him, feel his warmth beside me... it's crazy! Even if he just comes in, sits down and relaxes, I have to be near him - I've been home all alone all day long and I really feel like I'm secluded.
You see, Lessie is my best friend - aside from Jesus. He's my Adam. God gave him to me and I treasure that.
Like even now, I feel very much alone in the quiet of this place because it's so empty without his presence in the place. It really does feel empty... my lessiebear has a commanding presence in this place and that's probably because he's the head of the house (kinda like my dad - when we are at their house, my dad has a commanding presence).
So when Gabriel gets here, when he's finally born, it wont be so quiet anymore. It wont be so lonely and certainly wont be boring! I know the first few weeks even months, are the hardest - but I believe if God is with me, I'll make it through it. I just want to have companionship - even if that companion is just my little wonderful angel boy. Because God made me crave social interaction, after I returned to Him. I love being around people - especially encouraging people and uplifting people.
I am hoping to find a church someday. I've been to several down here, and really I haven't found one in the Athens area yet. If the Lord opens the door, I'll go back to the church I found back in September... But it would have to be the Lord's choosing, because of the distance and right now we are tight.
Anyway, I guess that about sums up the update... more like a rant or venting but still... that's what has been on my mind lately.
Lessie is working hard to do his job and do it well. God has blessed us wonderfully, and I am very thankful for each blessing. Lessie still struggles with his "old habit" but I know with encouragement and effort and the Lord's help - he'll overcome it. Also, he is looking forward to Gabriel's arrival just as much as I am, and he's even hoping it'll be on his birthday too. Feb 14th.
God bless, and I hope you have a wonderful day. I just want Gabriel to arrive I don't care if it's tonight or tomorrow but I want him to arrive!!!! Still no labor pains though... as far as I know... anyway talk later. BYE!!!
