A new beginning has come for me! It's a wonder how God works! One day your walking along the paths of life, then a fork appears in the road. You look right, left, then behind but nothing is about you save the fork. Then you pick up the fork and use it to dig a hole. --- yes that's a joke... anyway, it has a moral.
Every life has it's surprises, storms and yes, forks. What we do in those times are what makes or breaks us. For me, it nearly tore me apart.
I was supposed be a nanny for a dear friend of mine. As time passed however, I found that this was my 'fork' and I ended up digging a hole with that fork instead of continuing in the path ahead of me. This is the meaning of the parable:
The fork was a distraction. The digging was the hole I used to hide from continuing in the unknown path ahead of me. The path is that of God's will and my hearts desire. God gave me a choice. I had to choose the fork or the path. When I chose the fork, I ended up digging into the ground causing inner turmoil in my life. I kept hoping that, though I had chosen the fork and hole that I dug, I would still be able to follow my heart's desire. But because the hole grew deeper, I was unable to climb out of the hole to continue in my walk with God's will and my hearts desire.
So, I was stuck, until I realized my choice and the fact that I was in so deep the top of the hole was miles above my head - I was in despair.
Here is the parables answer. Take it or leave it, but it is true.
I made a promise to a friend to become a nanny, it became so much of a distraction I had lost sight of my heart's true desire. Schooling and Youth Ministry. As the day for me to be the Nanny drew closer and closer, I realized my folly, I worked to dig myself out of the hole I had dug from my promise but it was no use. Then Sunday morning I was in church looking at the book of Isaiah, chapters 10-17. But as I listened to the Worship service, I noticed that the Lord was speaking to me subtly.
Then it was time for Pastor Michael to speak, teaching us. As he spoke, there was another story that played in my heart. I saw the inner turmoil that was killing my heart. I wasn't able to see over the edge of the hole I had dug with that fork. When the pastor finished, I was in tears. I knew then was God was trying to tell me the last few months. I had not broken a promise since a few years ago (which I will tell in a later post maybe), I had promised myself I will never break another promise, but what about if God tells me it's not a right promise?
I did my best to cover up what was going on in my life, keeping secret the turmoil that warred within my very soul. The Fork (promise) had become a shovel, the hole (the turmoil) had gotten larger every moment. As I was about to leave the church a friend came and asked if I was alright... I wasn't sure what to say, so I just told her I was fine, but my mother said I could use a bit of prayer. So we prayed. The turmoil had built so much that I was shaking and fearful of never getting out of it.
But then, as we prayed a calming peace entered the hole of turmoil I had dug for myself. I cried out to God and pleaded with Him to but forgive my disgrace and filthy sin in choosing the fork instead of the path ahead. After arriving home I realized God had given me his answer so swiftly that I had not even begun to realize it until my father spoke the words that God himself placed there.
I was in complete peace when I broke my promise to be a nanny. After a month of turmoil, I was finally at peace.
This is the wonderful work of God. I take no credit. For I had chosen to look at the Fork, that turned into a shovel. As God pulled me out of that hole I had dug, He set my feet back on the path. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "Behold, I make all things new." (Rev. 21:5)
I am a new being, I am washed again of my sinful choices, I will continue to praise God for all he's done, will do and is doing. THANK YOU GOD FOR SAVING ME!
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him, will not perish but have everlasting life." ~John 3:16
